To Friend or Not to Friend

I am not a football fan. Multiply that feeling times four and you’ll get an idea of how I feel about the faux-patriotic corporate money-gasm that is a Super Bowl.

But everything is better when you watch it with Twitter, so I had the game on in the background on Sunday while I trolled Twitter for some fun and general snarkiness.

And during the game, Chevy rolled this ad:

Put aside the irony of people watching a football game on Twitter railing against how ridiculous it would be to check your Facebook news feed through your car’s flux capacitor or whatever. Put aside the arguments about how constantly connected we all are. Put aside the not-insignificant safety issues. Put aside the guy’s creeptacular James Franco-esque porn ‘stache, and let’s get down to brass tacks: They’ve just gone on their first date but are already Facebook friends.

I have concerns here, kittens. I haven’t done a lot of dating recently but the thing that continues to baffle me — and makes me feel so goddamned old — is trying to figure out the social media tango that goes along with dating in this day and age.

I think the Twitter follow is probably the least committal, right? Facebook is probably something you avoid until you’re fairly sure you’re actually dating dating. But what about Flickr? Or Instagram? Foursquare? GoodReads? Quora? (Also, what the hell is Quora?)

As someone who has done my fair share of online dating, I have puzzled over when you switch from email through the dating website to personal email. And, if you’re using Gmail, there comes a point where you’ve emailed enough that this person will turn up automatically in your Google Talk pane. Do you leave them there?

And then, there’s the question on the opposite end of the spectrum. There’s no questions about blocking the guy who tells you on the first date*, “If we’re gonna have sex, it’s gotta be at your place, because I don’t own a bed.” But when it comes to your average just-not-quite right man or woman to whom you’ve given access to your social media reality, what do you do when you break up? Even worse, what do you do if you were just “seeing each other” and now you aren’t even doing that? How do you disentangle yourself? And what if you’ve decided to go the friend route?

As I start to contemplate walking into the fire that is online dating YET AGAIN, I’m pledging to take it slow on the social media front, if on no other. It’s a crazy world we’ve created for ourselves out there, and the Facebook-stalking car is the least of our worries, kids.

*True story. Sad, painful, and true.

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7 Responses to To Friend or Not to Friend

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention To Friend or Not to Friend | The Art of Observing --

  2. Oy. I think you have good ground rules figures out. I wouldn’t want someone on my FB until we were pretty sreious. Isn’t it weird that people have to worry about stuff like this now? As if dating isn’t fraught with enough to worry about already.

  3. michael says:

    You are right. Shouldn’t be be a problem. But see, if you weren’t so damned young, you could ignore the issue and credibly claim that you only had the work email and weren’t on SpaceBook or MyFace or Blippity Blip or whatever those kids are clicking on and what the hell *is* Quora anyhow?

    Just sayin’…

  4. lexa says:

    No. Twitter is bad. Because twitter is connected to Four Square for lots of folks and then you can see the object of your affection checking in all over town when he said he was staying home and taking it easy.

    Or something like that.

  5. When I joined OkCupid last year, I created an entirely separate Gmail e-mail account solely for dating purposes. It worked well enough. If nothing else, it’s gets you away from e-mailing through those silly sites, right?

    (p.s. Lexa pointed me in your direction. And with just one post, I’m already likin’ what I’m reading! Keep on keeping on! 🙂 )

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